For some people with ADHD, symptoms can be manageable, and they are able to suppress the signs of ADHD. However, this effort can be exhausting and efforts to appear ‘normal’ can lead to damaging long-term consequences.
At Beyond Clinics we believe ADHD isn’t an ‘illness’ but rather a different kind of neurotype with unique strengths and challenges. That said, the impact of ADHD on everyday life can be significant and sometimes burdensome. One of the ways this manifests is through something called ‘masking’. In this article, we’ll unpack what masking really means, why it may feel helpful, why it can end up being harmful, and how you might shift toward a more comfortable, more authentic way of being.
What is Masking?
Masking is the process by which someone with ADHD strives to suppress, hide or adapt their natural behaviours so as to fit in with the expectations of others: often the ‘neurotypical’ world. This may involve rehearsing social responses, controlling impulses that want to move you, sitting still when your brain doesn’t stop, or building extensive self-reminders and systems to compensate for distraction or forgetfulness.
It’s important to emphasise that masking does not mean you are being ‘fake’. Rather, it’s a deeply understandable and often necessary survival strategy developed in response to living in environments that don’t always accommodate neurodiversity. Many adults with ADHD have learned to mask since childhood. But it is this very capacity to adapt can make diagnosis harder, especially for those whose symptoms are less externally obvious.
Why Masking Can Seem Helpful.
On the surface, masking can appear to serve a positive purpose. Adopting behaviours or strategies to manage the demands of work, study, or social life can help you feel you’re coping. For example:
You set multiple alarms to ensure you remember deadlines.
You arrive early to avoid being late.
You avoid or suppress your natural fidgeting or stimming because you feel others will judge you.
Such adaptations can feel resourceful. In fact, some professionals consider that certain forms of ‘masking’ are simply high-functioning compensation and can support functioning. At Beyond Clinics we recognise the resilience behind such efforts. It takes creativity, energy and self-awareness to build the systems that many adults with ADHD use. That said, masking can sometimes be more harmful in the long-term.
Why Masking Often Hurts More Than It Helps.
Despite the short-term appearance of ‘fitting in’, masking comes with invisible costs. Below are some of the ways it can undermine wellbeing:
Emotional and mental fatigue.
Constantly monitoring yourself, your body, your words, and your timing takes enormous energy. Over time you may feel drained, anxious or as though you’re always ‘on’.
Delayed or missed diagnoses.
When someone visibly adapts to mask symptoms, the underlying ADHD may remain overlooked. That can mean delayed diagnosis, fewer supports, and a sense of frustration or asking yourself ‘What’s wrong with me?’
Loss of identity and authenticity.
When you spend large parts of your life presenting a ‘masked’ version of yourself, you may start to feel uncertain about who you really are. Some people say they struggle to remember the ‘real’ version of themselves.
Increased risk of anxiety, depression and burnout.
There’s growing evidence that masking, especially over long periods, correlates with higher rates of mental-health difficulties
Reduced access to support and authenticity in relationships.
If you are constantly hiding, you may find it hard to let others know your true struggles, and difficult to receive genuine support. It becomes isolating.
In short: what may begin as a protective strategy can evolve into a heavy burden. In our experience at Beyond Clinics, the goal is not to shame the person who masks but to recognise it, understand what it’s costing you, and shift toward a more self-kind, sustainable way of living.
Moving from Masking Toward Authenticity.
The journey away from heavy masking is not about removing all disguise in one go as that can feel overwhelming. Instead, it’s about gradually giving yourself permission to be more you, in contexts that feel safe, and building supports so your day-to-day is more sustainable.
Here are some ways to begin:
Recognise and reflect. Start by noticing how you behave, especially in situations where you feel the mask ‘goes up’. What triggers you to mask? What behaviours are you suppressing or adapting? Awareness is the first step.
Differentiate between helpful strategies and harmful masking. Some adaptations are genuinely helpful, for example using a reminder system, decluttering your workspace, and allowing short breaks. But when the strategy is about hiding shame, over-compensating to the point of exhaustion, or constantly monitoring yourself for fear of ‘revealing’ your struggles, that may be more harmful masking.
Choose safe people and spaces. Select one or two trusted people, such as family and friends, who you can gradually share more of your authentic self with. Let them know what your brain is like, what your challenges might be, and where you might need understanding or support.
Build supports aligned with your neurotype. Rather than trying to fit into a neurotypical model of ‘normal’, build supports around your way of functioning. For example, work with a coach or therapist who understands ADHD; explore organisational strategies; and create environments that reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.
Practice self-compassion. Recognise that masking has served you. It was a way of coping in environments not built for your brain. Now you are choosing a different path and it’s okay if it is tentative, gradual, or imperfect.
So, Why Is It Hurting and Not Helping?
When we look at the nature of masking, it is possible to suppress ADHD traits for a while, but it takes constant effort, and there’s always the risk of the traits surfacing in an uncontrolled way. Over time you may feel you’re carrying the weight of masking as well as the weight of ADHD – and this weight can become too heavy.
At Beyond Clinics we believe that living with ADHD doesn’t mean you need to hide who you are; it means you may need to live in a way that suits how your brain works. That includes learning when to reduce the mask, how to let others in, and how to build environments where your strengths are recognised, and your challenges are supported.
Final Thoughts.
If you recognise yourself in the pattern of masking, you’re not alone. Many adults with ADHD carry a lifetime of adaptations, self-monitoring and hidden effort. Secondly, it might be time to ask: what would it feel like to lift the mask just a little? How could my life be different if I allowed myself to be more seen?
By acknowledging the cost of masking and gradually choosing authenticity, you begin to free up the energy you spent keeping the mask in place and redirect it toward realising your potential. At Beyond Clinics we’re here to help you explore that journey with understanding, practical strategies and genuine support. If you’d like to talk with someone about your experience of masking or what life with ADHD could feel like when you’re not hiding, we’re here for you.
